JANE OF THE JUNGLE…After two decades and a few more years of a life that has been experimental and consequential so far, I still rush to the washbasin to clear out the non-existent dirt in my eyes, everytime someone ridicules me. What I should be doing actually, is to answer the brick with a stone atleast, but no. I’m what you call your garden-variety too-good-to-be-rude average Jane. And yeah, would you believe that’s my real name?
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LIFE AND MTV
Don’t you wish sometimes that life was like one of those videos on MTV? Don’t you wish that in a matter of 3 minutes and 23 seconds your life would go from awful and depressing to something out of the climax of your favorite romantic comedy? Don’t you wish that guy you so totally adore would actually come out from the cubicle next to you and give you those tube-roses you’ve always adored? Or is that too much to ask for? I used to be such a fan of happy endings. And all of a sudden, that rich guy falling for the poor girl sorry seems phony, fake and unrealistic.
THE EAR OF LOST PAIN
When I put a diplomatic ear to the complaints of one boss and then spend an entire lunch break sympathizing with a rival boss, I ask myself, where has my personal opinion gone? Lost somewhere in the poison-ivies of political-correctness I suppose. And FYI, my workplace happens to be an Advertising Media company- by far the only workplace I the world where I can sit in front of my computer and talk aloud to myself and I wont be considered the next candidate to inhabit the mental asylum.
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THE PETITE BLONDE’S SECRET
This reminds me. Do you know the best way to get the word around on something? Tell someone and put this sentence in the end: ‘Don’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.’ You would be surprised how certain rumors gain the pace of the speed of light. Test this information by doing this simple exercise: Create a buzz about that petite blonde in the Creative cubicle and wait. Chances are, atleast two people will tell you the juicy gossip by lunch time.
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MEN Vs. WOMEN
Want more? Take that. When men say, “I like you… but not in that way,” basically what they mean is, “I don’t wanna be the one breaking it to you, but you’re Ugly.” And sure there are always different ways to say that. For example, “Its not you, its me.” “I think of you as a sister.” An all that.
Women, on the other hand, are much more complex creatures. So you have to be a little more creative, when you want to guess what they mean when they say: “I like you, but not in that way.” What she probably means is: “If you stick around long enough we may end-up going out. Or if she says, “I think of you as a friend,” then you’re the guy she wants to complain to about all the other men she is seeing.
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AND SO…
Seeing, though, isn’t always believing. That is why men who wear Muscle-T may never have seen sight of a gym, and a Versace wearing, candle-light dinner date, may like to burp on pizza and coke in his den.
Well, live and learn I say. Until the next time a romantic-comedy brings up those bitter-sweet emotions in me to be able to be sarcastic, ciaos!
Luv,
JANE
