*YE TRAKTAR HAI…*

Far be it for me to ridicule PTV’s choice of program schedule. But a
friends’ four year old was glued to tv as if suddenly the teletubbies had
grown antennas – oh wait, they already have those. Well you get the drift.
To learn more about why I think teletubbies have antennas you should look
for a blog post titled ‘gross looking antenna beings – wht every cool parent
shud know about the teletubbies’.

For now lets just stick to why my friends’ four year old was glued to the
tv. I looked up at the tv and what I saw changed my perspective of national
television for ever. Standing tall and proud on the screen was a figure in
red, and two men stood around her pointing to various body parts with
explanations… Ha! Gotcha! No I’m not talking about pornography… What
part of ‘national television’ do you not understand?

Anywho. As I was saying, this aforementioned red figure is what oxford
dictionary terms as a ‘tractor’ and the whole of our rural people
endearingly refer to as the *traktar*. Now strange as it may seem this
particular four yr old seems to find tractors fascinating. On inquiring, my
friend sadly commented that her four yr old *Elijah* insists upon watching
this very channel only for his entertainment. So much so that he yells if we
ever try to switch while one of his favorite tractor shows are on.
Mesmerized I watched elijah smirk as a farmer looking guy touched the huge
tractor wheel reverently and explained why a tractor should never be used as
a golf cart. ‘ye traktar hai. Is ke chaar pahye hote hain. Is ke aage ke
pahye chote aur peeche ke bare hote hain…’ *pop goes the weasel*!

Speaking of weasels, I think indian soap makers should be held on trial for
instilling bullcrap into peoples’ minds.

 Its not without reason why divorce rates in india r on a phenomenal high. I
mean, have u seen zee tv lately? [yes, I admit; sometimes as a part time
working housewife u *really* run out of better things to do] Apart from
being more of a gravitational dilemma than film azia’s – correct me if iv
prounounced it wrong- *sooha jora*, indian soaps r overflowing with women
who went out of date a couple of centuries back.

As if this wasn’t bad enough, the more they make heroines out of pony tailed
maids [aparently in india these days its ok to mate ure maid] n the
stubborn, stuck up n gaudy pre-feminism heroines, the more they raise the
bar for a normal working housewife to be accepted by inlaws. *Yes, kyunki
saas b kabhi bahu thi but jab wo bahu thi tab aur ab k fashion trends mein
difference hai yar*!! N wht is it with only the vamps wearing trendy
designer clothes!! I can’t believe how the seemingly secular, democratic,
liberal india is into these female stereotypes! I mean I’m all for the
eastern woman glory and personally don’t even vouch for the feminism
theories but even I don’t think every saree clad woman shud be considered a
* good bahu*. Its being judgemental *par excellence! * And don’t even get me
started on minimum jewelry requirements for a star plus *bahu*.

No wonder why even my lovely liberalist mom in law thinks I shud wear a
sequined saree to work just like parwati does. She frowns everytime I leave
my antique * sat lara *at home. And all my complaints are met with a ‘pearls
are a woman’s best friend’. Yes, second only to diamonds n business suits!

I wanna begin talking about why women my moms age watch indian soaps in the
first place. Mainly because they lack the careers that their daughters now
have. These women need something to hold on to when their children are all
going around having experimental lives at best, dining out everyday of the
week, having glamorous jobs and ending up having passionate marriages. They
think we have it all. Their kids never lived life to their rules and are
actually happy. They don’t know how that’s even possible. So they make soap
time *Their time*. No son. No daughter. No husband. No rules for atleast 2
hours. And they really indulge themselves into the lives of these soap stars
as if they were real.

So now if uve had enough of my behavioral psychology lecture I think ill
move on to why pakistanis are smitten with mica bellucci and why when Rizwan went to a video store in lahore and asked for a ‘foriegn’ film, he got presented with a bumch of pornographic dvds. Haha- that’s apparently the new code word. But I’m not getting into that… U really thought I was going to even try to venture towards such a controversy? Nope. Not in the same blog anyway. Ciaos¤

P.s. Yeah it was a little abrupt. So what? U see its MY  BLOG! (alwez
wanted to say that).